cheap sex and tattoos.

its about time.

2010-07-11T00:39:00.001+08:00

miserydeath.tumblr.com

i need you.

2010-07-04T23:57:00.003+08:00

this is exactly how i feel. but i am scared to tell you. im scared. fucking scared.

i feel cold.

2010-07-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

i feel alone right now. -delayed.-

my heart, i feel the pain.

2010-07-04T23:36:00.002+08:00

where'd you go? i miss you so.

i have done all i can. to stand on the steps w my heart in my hand.

i know a girl.

2010-07-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

that we will be alright.

the weight of the world.

2010-07-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

at least i know you dont try.

dead and gone.

2010-07-04T23:17:00.005+08:00

if only you knew.

this is fucking unfair and i cannot take it anymore. its not always about you in this relationship. im fucking human too, i got fucking feelings, and you really hit and crash me really hard this time. IT FUCKING HURTS. i hate her and yknow it. all your promised about not doing it are all lies, bullshit. are promises to me all meant to be broken? why is it so unfair to me? do you ever consider how i feel? you called her baby, and said you miss her, and that she is damn cute. wtf? and i am suppose to be okay w that? im suppose to be okay that you are flirting w her? if i am in the wrong right now, tell me. tell me how the fuck i am suppose to feel cause i am tired. tired of being taken for granted, tired of always being at fault, tired of always taking the blame for everything, tired of always giving in. i am fucking am. everyone knows how much i fucking love you expect you. why? why cant you see i changed? that i am not a fucking flirt. i am not a fucking player. that i want you. and no one else. why cant you just see that? if i am not good enough tell me. cause my heart hurts badly enough. my eyes too.

i really miss you. but i dont know how to talk to you again. havent seen you since forever and muy heart is aching. im tired. fucking tired.

dont take me for granted.

2010-07-04T23:09:00.002+08:00

So what if I came clean, and told you all you mean to me.
so what if I meant every word I said.
baby don't let it go to your head.
so what if I write your name,
cause you're always on my brain,
in a heart I paint in crimson red.
baby dont let it go to your head,
don't be getting any big ideas, let me make it clear.

just cause I cant go on,
just cause I die when youre gone.
and just cause I think of you in bed,
don't let it go to your head.
if I looked in your eyes,
one too, too many times.
and memorized every word you said,
dont let it go to your head.

marry me juliet.

2010-07-03T23:08:00.002+08:00

i know we will be, promise we will be alright through whatever, remember? 7 years? heehee. we are gonna make it. i love you. together forever. (:

you'll never be alone. :B

th way you move ain't fair yknow.

2010-07-03T23:03:00.001+08:00

believe that.

ducklings.

2010-07-03T22:59:00.001+08:00

baby, lets own some together. (:

thinking of you.

2010-07-03T22:39:00.002+08:00

I could’ve sworn I was telling the truth when I told you I didn’t miss you.

i like being loved by you.

2010-06-24T21:21:00.001+08:00

I think the best and most precious things in life are: big warm hugs, passionate kisses, the smell of rain, daydreaming, walking through a field of wildflowers, smiles from anyone - particularly strangers, soft cushy pillows, anything chocolate, and lastly - being loved.

ps, i love her piglet the most.

check this out.

2010-06-24T21:06:00.001+08:00

cool shit. (:

you give me what no one else can.

2010-06-24T21:00:00.001+08:00

and yknow we cant stop smiling each time we do.

let me love you.

2010-06-24T20:55:00.001+08:00

yknow thats true baby. heehee. ^^

love.

2010-06-24T20:53:00.002+08:00

i dont care what people have to say about us.
if its you and me against the world, so be it.
your love is enough for me.

beautiful smile.

2010-06-24T20:44:00.002+08:00

soooo, i am going off to malaysia tmrw. (: HOW AWESOME. i am downloading songs now so that i wont be bored in the car tmrw. but i got fel's DS too, so im not worried. next 3 days just slacking my ass off, but i need to bring my HW, cause i havent finish yet. sighhhhh.

i am currently listening to some local singer, shes damn super good. (: got potential. (: anyways, i am gonna miss my baby though. sigh. i hate it that we got to spent so little time together this holiday. but i mean, it was all time well spend, so i dont mind, and i dont complain too. (:

OH, i am actually all packed already, so proud of myself. (: heehee. alright, i gotta go do work already. soon. byeeeeee.

ps, have i told you how amazing you are?

i'll be by your side.

2010-06-24T20:26:00.001+08:00

my hands are holding you.

I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.

you're better than the best.

2010-06-15T23:59:00.002+08:00

i just realise that.

the match just ended! walao it was so damn boring. cant believe it was a draw. pfft. portagul played damn bad. their attack was like shit. seriously. whatever, im looking forward to the next game, which i bet on brazil. hope they wont let me down. ):

i didnt do much today, went to school, came back to sleep then went to swim. trying to lose weight. i look too fat beside my gf. HAHAHA. anyways, tmrw is another boring day. i think i got tuition, but i dont know what time. -.- damn it. OH, and i just found out that fel is only coming back on thursday night. wow. just great. she has been away for 5 days already. fml lah.

i miss you like crazy. come back soon please.

i wanna be your superman.

2010-06-15T01:59:00.000+08:00

i am serious about marrying you.

you are perfect.
you are as cute as a button.
damn, youre a sexy chick.

dirty rich.

2010-06-15T01:55:00.000+08:00

cause when we kiss, oooooo, fire.

i miss you.

2010-06-15T01:53:00.000+08:00

i miss waking up beside you.

will you marry me?

2010-06-15T01:47:00.003+08:00

for my case, extra bitchy. HAHAH.

anyways, stupid baby is suppose to be back by today, BUT NO, shes coming back on wednesday instead. cheebs. ): come back soon lah okay? i hate it that you are always flying. ): i miss you. and i think about it all the time. ): but something to look forward too! seniors camp. heeheee. i love you b. (:

today was a very very boring dayyy. stayed home, was suppose to go swimming but i fell asleep, whats new?! there is math tmrw and i am meeting michelle and shaz for breakfast. i hope i wont oversleep. :/

the only way to talk to baby is FB, so annoying. OH, i watched FIFA just now online, cant believe japan won! i bet on italy tonightt. CROO FINGERS, I HOPE THEY WIN AND GET AT LEAST 2 GOALS! ;/ i am betting tmrw night too. Portugal! stupid fel's hot guy is there. HAHAHA. just hope they will win. alright, going to sleeppppp.

goodnight! (:

oh darling i wish you were here.

2010-06-13T00:38:00.002+08:00

but you love me still. (:

sooooo, stupid girl left today for her mother land, but i hope shes coming back really soon. its barely a day and i miss her already. sighh. anyways, rach's party yesterday was pretty fun, the swimming, BBQ and supriseee. happy birthday babee. (:

theres church fundraising tmrw, and i got to be up by 6. HOLY CRAP. confirm cannot lah. i am gonna die. sigh. just hope alph will give me a wake up call. cant wait for seniors camp! just hope its not postpone. :/

alright, goodnight world.

our wallpaper. (:

2010-06-11T00:54:00.000+08:00

happy forth. (:

he loves you.

2010-06-11T00:07:00.004+08:00

i am not going against my religion, but i believe god loves each and every one of us. no matter what we become. just believe in him, and he will love you.

ask away!

2010-06-11T00:07:00.001+08:00

http://www.formspring.me/miserydeath

heeheee.

wait for me.

2010-06-10T22:45:00.003+08:00

she is everything.

hi world. (: i decided to blog after a while. okay, anyways, today was a very boring day, watsed 6 bucks, but i met sha and mei, they totally made my day. (: and i drank my firts KOI! holy shit. hahaha. and nothing great. i dont understand why people queue for it. seriouslyyy. mei forced me. heh.

anyways, stupid baby lost her passport yesterday. -.- i had to call changi airport for her and stuff. and its now she needs to make a tempoaray one to get back to her motherland. damnnn.

sooo, i am damn fucking sad seniors camp is pushed, dont evem know if i can go now. sighhh.

human(kind) sucks.

2010-06-07T16:40:00.001+08:00

how can we be so heartless?

seriously, the damaged oil well in the Gulf of Mexico, has caused a lot of damn problems in the fucking world. especially for the wildlife, why is human kind so fucking selfish and mean? so heartless and all these sea animals are dying and being hurt for all our wrong doings, while we, as humans still live normally. whats the worse for us? cant go tanning? seriously man.

its really fucking pissing me off seeing how the animals are suffering damn badly. they didnt ask for this. they didnt expect for this. god should seriously punish mankind for being so god damn selfish. the pictures are just so heart breaking. i wanna kill BP. seriously. they should be close down. urgh, this totally just ruined my day.

our time together is never quite enough.

2010-06-07T16:29:00.002+08:00

when i'm w you, i've never felt so at home.

after sending my grandmother for her check up in the morning, she came over like finally, and we talked and laugh our ass off, just running and playing around. we then decided to catch the killers. (: laugh like shit, but the theater was so coldddd. brrr.

i just send her off for her track camp. ); hmm. sigh. anyways, shes going back to indo on the 10. that means shes going away AGAIN, i think i am gonna start getting use to it. it kills me, but what to do, life sucks. but i am looking forward to seniors camp with her and of course everyone else. (:

i am going to take a nap nowww, just wish it was with you.

):

2010-06-06T13:21:00.000+08:00

dont wanna ever lose you.

but i dont mind.

2010-06-06T13:08:00.000+08:00

i need her.

miss you baby.

2010-06-04T16:40:00.003+08:00

I saw you smile and my mind could not erase the beauty of your face.

i think about you all the time.

2010-06-04T16:23:00.004+08:00

i cant wait to kiss you again. (:

so i decided to be independent and go do my ez link card today without fel. ): if she was here i know she would follow me. but anyways, i did it like finally. anyways, ONE MORE FUCKING DAY TILL SHES BACK. i seriously cannot wait. havent heard her voice in such a long time, really miss it. and i made up my mind. things are gonna change when she gets back. for the better. ^^

skipped school today too, cause lessons was a waste of time and kunna didn't come. -.- but i feel ike shit cause i just wasted my day thinking about her, and not studying. ): damn it. i seriously hate o's. its doesnt even feel like the holidays at all. sickening.

gotta go, dental's at 5. bye suckerssssss.

i need you, now and forever.

2010-06-01T00:14:00.001+08:00

still waiting. [delayed]

there's a silent celebration for every breath you breathe.

i'm into you baby.

2010-05-31T23:59:00.004+08:00

lets watch the night sky together soon. (:

HI WORLD. (: heehee. so i am really happy todayy. (:

fel secretly messaged me. (:
fels called me last night. (:
lunch with mich shaz sheryl and anne was fun. (:
study date (failed) was freaking fun with michelle. (:

anyways, moving on, chinese o's is finally over and me and my mum was just talking about how i should have taken chinese tuition. -.- HAHAHA. like real. but she doesn't mind me getting a B4, and she dont mind me retaking the paper, so i will see how lahh. (:

i dont know what i am doing trmw, but i know i got school, and breakfast with the rest in the morning. i think i am catching a movie after school trmw. i don't know also lah. whateverrr.

i wonder what fel is doing right nowwww. it's only 5pm there and its a new day here already. where are youuuuu. wish i can hear your voice right now. OH, btw, i wore your slipper out today. (: it was so comfortable. sigh. miss you damn badly. cant wait to see you on saturday. soon!

Wherever you are tonight girl,
I'll see you in my dreams.

there's no life after you.

2010-05-30T01:00:00.001+08:00

you are 6739 miles away from me, which is 10846km.

you once said you will only run far enough to make me miss you.
well, now you have gone too far, and i miss you fucking terribly,
so will you come back now please?

i cant live without you.

2010-05-30T00:32:00.001+08:00

i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.
i am gonna be alright.

who the fuck am i kidding?

i am lost without you.

2010-05-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

i hope you see this wherever you are. cause i am dying.
(and i hope you received all my text.)

i miss you.

2010-05-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

i wish,
that you are right here in my arms now.
thats all. (please and thank you.)

i'm love sick.

2010-05-30T00:08:00.005+08:00

shes there already. safe and sound i hope. sigh. i am missing her with every beat of my heart. and it has only been 15 hours since she's been gone and she havent left my mind all day. its just her her her her. i feel lost without her. i seriously dont know how i am gonna survive for the next 7 days. kill me now. i feel damn fucking numb. i feel. lost.

i am planning to sleep at 5am today. so that i will see her in my dreams since it will be around 10pm at her side. gonna stay up and do some stuff. sigh. i miss her. tmrw just heading to church in the morning then coming home for lunch and staying home to rot. urgh.

yesterdays 4 hours spent with her was not enough to compensate the next 168 hours i am gonna be alone without her. seriously. its not fucking enough.

where are you? are you safe? hows london? how was the flight? hows the weather? are you tired? where are you baby? meeting new friends? is everything okay? do yknow how much i miss you? where are you. where are you. where are you.

where are you. (inysbrn.)

dont go.

2010-05-28T23:59:00.003+08:00

I’m ready for a long bus ride.
I can't stop thinking of you.
My heart is weak.
I hate love sick, obsessive people.
Why are you so cute?

do yknow how much you mean to me?

2010-05-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

w you.

will you take my hand?
we will splash in these puddles
and dance in the rain.

whats not to love about her?

2010-05-28T23:41:00.004+08:00

why do you have to leave so soon. ):

last 2 weeks was passed really fast. and i just remembered that IJ fiesta was last friday which was a blast for me. (: spent it with all the people i love but even though it ended off bad, it was alright in the end. (:

okayyy. this week has been a crazy week so right now, tgif. (: last night went drinking with grace, clara, zara and the rest at haji and had fun. (: seesha and drink. left around 1 plus and went for supper with my brother at macs. moving on, i slacked around the whole day today, just lazing in bed, and spent time with fel. too little time in fact. sigh. i wish i could stop time when im with her.

on top of that. shes leaving tmrw. WOW. thats just great. fuck lah, london is really damn freaking far. cannot take it. shes like leaving for what, 8 days?! wtf. i seriously dont know how i am gonna survive. while shes having fun, i am probably gonna drown myself in books to keep myself occupy. URGH. thinking about it already makes me miss her. i seriously dont know how i am going to live without talking to her. can someone just kill me now? i just hope she'll have fun.

dont go, stay close please. im gonna miss you like fuck. come back soon okay? sigh. remember to read my letters everyday k? keep safe.
ilysmb. pcbiop, adfam. iagmy.
ill be waiting, im not gonna move.

Baby this is my to-do list for you,

2010-05-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

I love you, more than anything (:

out with the old.

2010-05-15T23:54:00.002+08:00

thats fucked upppppp!

sooo, last night was pretty awesome. happy birthday daryn and winson! anyways drank my ass off. and fucking party with everyone, it was good to see all the girls again after so long. and i think it's gonna be a while again before i see everyoneeeee. marie was so wasted i swear. i was alright. i controlled. (; anyways, i went home around 2, missed my bed at home.

had a hangover this morning. it was pretty bad. but just drank water and slept a lot. met my parents for lunch, then pick baby up from cath class, that stupid girl. we went for lunch and high tea. ^^ really ate A LOT.

then she came over, and ate dinner with my whole family. my mum cooked thai food today! the tom yum soup was gooddddddddd. (: heehee. my mum is like the best chef in the world. she left at around 9.30. (:

tmr just church, and my granny is cooking laksa! (: whoooo. cant wait.

lastly, i miss you.

anyone else but you.

2010-05-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

You’re part time lover and a full time friend,
The monkey on the back is the latest trend,
Don’t see what anyone can see,
In anyone else,
But you

Here is a church and here is a steeple,
We sure are cute for two ugly people,
Don’t see what anyone can see,
In anyone else,
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage,
I want more fans, you want more stage,
Don’t see what anyone can see,
In anyone else,
But you

I’m always tryin to keep it real,
Now I’m in love with how you feel,
I don’t see what anyone can see,
In anyone else,
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train,
I kiss you all starry eyed,
My body swings from side to side,
I don’t see what anyone can see,
In anyone else,
But you

The pebbles forgive me,
The trees forgive me,
So why can’t,
You forgive me?
I don’t see what anyone can see,
In anyone else,
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
I don’t see what anyone can see,
In anyone else,
But you.

i love dug.

2010-05-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

Dug: I was hiding under your porch because I love you. Can I stay?
Carl: Can you stay? Why, you’re my dog aren’t ya? And I’m your master!

the world should know.

2010-05-15T23:24:00.001+08:00

How loud must I scream
and what words must I use for
you to hear my love?

and yknow it.

2010-05-15T21:59:00.002+08:00

some things will never be the same.

Things that break - be they bones, hearts, or promises - can be put back together but will never really be whole.

damn busted.

2010-05-15T21:57:00.002+08:00

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.

& i need you now.

2010-05-13T22:43:00.002+08:00

soooooooo, lets see. i got a check list to follow.

1. Eat + Think of Fel. -done
2. Strip + Think of Fel. -done
3. Wash armpit + leg+ Think of Fel. -done
4.Wash face+ Think of Fel. -done
5. Brush teeth+ Think of Fel. -done
6.Wear clothes+ Think of Fel. -done
7. Talk + Webcam with Fel. + Think of Fel.
8. Sleep + Dream of Fel.

thats about it. goodnight world.

i don't know how to hold you.

2010-05-12T23:52:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to say anymore. i give up trying to talk to you. i seriously dont see why our love must be based on text messages and calls and meeting face to face. when i feel the most important is the bond between us. thats the most important thing and we are lacking in it. seriously lacking. i love you, is that not clear enough? we fight every 5 mins. but within the few mintues when we are not fighting, dont you see how happy we are together? how much we can laugh?

why don't you see how happy we can be? instead, you see things like our different points of view, you see when we cant talk. you see everything else but our love.

everything but how much i love you.

so kiss me.

2010-05-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

i miss your kisses.

i aint got all night.

2010-05-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

i cant help it. sorry.

stop ignoring me.

2010-05-12T22:31:00.000+08:00

without you,

life is rock and roll without a drummer.

heartbreak.

2010-05-12T22:27:00.004+08:00

i fucking miss you.
is it not obvious enough?

happily ever after.

2010-05-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

I don’t just want your heart. I want your flesh, your skin and blood and bones, your voice, your thoughts, your pulse and most of all your fingerprints, everywhere.

i miss you so.

2010-05-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

It’s amazing, really, just how much pain the human heart can take.

owwwwwwww.

2010-05-12T00:26:00.000+08:00

kiss me. kiss me as if it were the last time.

i'll be there for you night and day.

2010-05-12T00:22:00.002+08:00

there you gooooo. (: loveeeeee.

i could really use a wish right now.

2010-05-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

the hard part isnt making the decision, its living with it.

— Law Abiding Citizen

is it obvious that i am crushing hard right now?

2010-05-11T23:19:00.001+08:00

i find myself thinking about you more than i should.

I’m such a awkward sap,

2010-05-11T22:26:00.001+08:00

I know, i’m not the most affectionate person, but you still don’t give up on me.

Don’t leave me anytime soon, please.

kiss me please.

2010-05-11T22:18:00.001+08:00

I can promise you

my heart will belong to you
each breath of this life.

you are on my radar.

2010-05-07T23:51:00.001+08:00

lets watch the night sky together. (:

you are the air i need.

2010-05-07T23:44:00.002+08:00

i need one of these now to relive my stress.
exams are really damn stressful. e math paper was really damn hard, when i handed up the paper, i am super sure in my mind that i am gonna fail sighhh. i am so stupid.

i miss youuuu. ):

i never wanna let you go.

2010-05-07T23:35:00.001+08:00

ill make for you breakfast in bed one day, i promise.

we're marching on.

2010-05-07T22:23:00.001+08:00

i am putting in the effort, but you dont seem to notice, and you dont seem to care.

born a lover.

2010-05-01T18:32:00.000+08:00

Love hurts.
but sometimes it’s a good hurt.
And it feels like I’m alive.

i cant take the distance.

2010-05-01T18:10:00.001+08:00

Yeah and its over before you know it,
It all goes by so fast.
Yeah the bad nights take forever,
And the good nights don’t ever seem to last.

on top of the world

2010-04-30T19:47:00.000+08:00

darling i wish you were here.

love is not love until love's vulnerable.

2010-04-30T18:10:00.004+08:00

ill think of you tonight.

midyears started already and this week just flew pass really really fast. and i am really glad that ss is over, now i am worried about physics. really hope i dont flunk anything.

this week, a lot of mixed emotions here and there. lots of fight, sudden death and shouting and everything. but i am glad everything is over now. just for now at least.

you'll be missed, rip.

your love is my drug.

2010-04-22T20:45:00.002+08:00

extremely.

all i can say is, i cant study. soooo, i am gonna fail o's for sure. greatttt.
on top of that, i miss you quite terribly. helpppp.

you are as beautiful as a rainbow.

2010-04-05T23:04:00.002+08:00

baby. i wont break my promise. we'll run away from all this okay? everything will be better, everything will be perfect for us. close your eyes baby, i'll bring you there i promise. lets runaway, just you and me. hush now, everything is gonna be alright.

i'll run,
have a little faith in me.

you mean the world to me.

2010-04-05T22:43:00.005+08:00

Oh,why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes.
Come on and come to me now,
Don't be ashamed to cry.
Let me see you through,
Cause I've seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you,
You don't know what to do.
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less.

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad, get mad.
Don't hold it all inside.
Come on and talk to me now.
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too,
But I'm a lot like you.

When you're standing at the crossroads,
Don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong.

I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you.
Won't let nobody hurt you.
I'll stand by you.
Take me in into your darkest hour,
And I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby,
You're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own.

I'll stand by you.

your glowing eyes.

2010-03-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

The love in my heart
and the joy inside my eyes,
Entirely yours.

you and i both.

2010-03-30T23:08:00.001+08:00

My heart is anchored
to the slightest rise and fall
of breath in your chest.

baby, i hope your eyes get better okay? stop saying cheebye and not funny.
i love you, get well soon. we both need to get well soon. ):
STOP TOUCHING YOUR EYE.

my soul ripped aparted.

2010-03-30T22:23:00.001+08:00

i make people sick. i am too fucking ego.

i hate myself.

where are you when i need you most?

2010-03-30T20:03:00.002+08:00

how am you feeling right now?

i feel like fucked up shit. i had enough of what people are trying to tell me, or maybe god. i get it. i am stop gonna be so full of myself. i fucking get it. its like all of a sudden just people flooding my life with things that are so fucking hurtful. but even a simple sorry will not take the pain away because everyone who tells me that just fucking scared my fucking life. started off with my both my ex, then some loser passerbyes on fel's blog, and now a friend i have known for 6 fucking years just screwed my life up with words i never knew existed in her vocab to describe me all came out. how great to know that i have friends who care for me in that manner.

but sadly. i am fucking numb to the whole situation until today, after that message. i don't know why. but honestly, really. i couldn't feel a single thing. maybe its because i am trying to change already? maybe because i think i have given up on myself? idk. people blame and scolded me for drinking that night, but do they really care? because what i see is that nobody really cares unless you die. you die right in their fucking face. that's when someone will actually give two fucks about you. but yknow, i have given up on myself already. i really have.

i am so full of myself. i think i realised that quite long ago in life before someone dared to tell me, so don't worry a, you are not the first. even r and y told me. heh. no different. but really. because it was you who told me, it made a lot of difference. i cried so bad, without anyone. it's like me against the world. wait, wrong. it's like the world against me. cause honestly, i don't have the energy or straight to fight for myself anymore. i am dying. slowly.

i don't even know whats this fucking post for. wtf.
anne, i am sorry. no hard feelings. at least i don't. i don't wanna fight, if that's why you were looking for, i can't. i can't do it anymore. i am sorry anne. fucking sorry. i didn't mean any harm.

how could you be so heartless.

2010-03-26T23:56:00.003+08:00

i drive myself crazy thinking of you.

tonight debate with my friends was fun, no deny, even though it was really tiring and dreading, we had free pizza and macs for supper.

moving on, i really hate it that nobody fucking understands or know me sometimes. its like everybody must get what they want. nobody ever listens anymore, everyone is so fucking self centred. the ending of my night was just fucked up.
my ezlink card is spoiled again.
my mum doesnt get it.
we are still fighting. it is fucking stupid. seriously.
i hated the way you talked to me.

i just got home and its 12. my netball match tomorrow is at 7.30. i gotta be up by 5. how great. i hate this. i hate my life at this very fucking moment. but sadly, no one cares, and no one bothers. i am gonna sleep the pain away. bye.

out of my league.

2010-03-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

Something you must know:
With every day that passes,
I will love you more.

break me apart.

2010-03-14T20:38:00.001+08:00

you caught me off guard,
now i am running and screaming.

bite me.

2010-03-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

why must we always end up like this?

danceworks yesterday was really fun. the company and everything was great. dancers did really really well. even though they didn't win, i am still proud of ij dancers! (: spent the whole day with love. damn happy. (:

today was a fucking boring sunday. just like stayed home and sleep my life away. I NEED TO STUDY. michelle. if you are reading this. HELP.

urghhhhhh, why the fuck are we even fighting? it doesnt even make sense. i am unreasonable, fine. but like you don't have to keep pushing me away right? i really hate it when we fight. its really damn stupid and no link to anything at all. just spilling out shit that is totally bullshit and rubbish. just fucking stop pushing me away.

never wanna lose you.

2010-03-13T22:46:00.001+08:00

Let’s be ourselves for this moment in time;
hearts on our sleeves, vulnerable to bleed.

pa jiao.

2010-03-11T23:13:00.003+08:00

i want today to be like everyday.

I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT CLOTHES
BUT MY HAIR LOOKS FIERCE. HAHAHAHHAHA.
ilyb. (:

the magic in the air.

2010-03-07T00:41:00.002+08:00

For just one moment,
a breath or a blink of you,
I’d give anything.

thanks again. :D

2010-03-07T00:27:00.003+08:00

thanks everyone all the wishes and presents. (: the cake in school and everything, thank you toooooo michelle, illya, eunice, shaz and rach. and not forgetting, bel, gwen, marie, gill, euge, nut. :D THANKS GUYS, love yall truck load. (:

not forgetting fel, thank you so much for the day. it was simple and amazing. i love the board, pencil case, puzzle, balloon, and everything you gave me. thanks babe. (:

sweet 16. ^^ hmmmmmmm.

forever and always.

2010-03-07T00:25:00.001+08:00

like this, perfect.

"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever."

i hope our's last forever. (:

baby baby baby.

2010-03-02T22:39:00.003+08:00

lets take a nap on the clouds soon. (:

i will never judge you.
i will never make you do whatever you dont want to,
i will protect you.
i will make sure no one hurts you.
i will make sure you are always happy.
i will make sure you are always safe and warm.
i will give you the world.
i will never leave you.
i will make sure you get nothing but the best.

lastly, can i keep you forever?

dont be sad, i'm sorry, i hope this cheers you up.

this is why i hate myself.

2010-03-02T21:52:00.002+08:00

you have done it again rach. great job.
i am fucking sorry baby. fucking sorry. i wanna kill myself now.
why did god even make me?
ifhm. i need a smoke fucking badly.

you are like the sun, you shine on me everyday.

2010-03-01T18:40:00.003+08:00

heeeeeeeeee.

phyics was a killer. i am gonna fail the test and history was just shit, can't believe i fell asleep. damn fucked upp. but anyways, i just went to work out, and my granny is nagging for me to bathe, but i wanna rest first, urghh.

anyways, tomorrow is gonna be another BORING day, i got nothing to look forward too. someone hit me now. and i am really gonna start studying (i hope), i feel the stress from like teachers and friends already. and i was looking through my journal, cca is like standing down soon for us. ): damn sad lah. sigh.

OHHH, i have been like on youtube seeing all the shit that is happening in Haiti now. and like it just makes me feel so fucking useless not being able to help or even contribute to them. it's like the shit they are going through is nothing like what we are. the needs to survive is not even available for them. 'we are the world, we are the children.'

on a lighter note, everyday with you is a fairytale. (:

we got it going on.

2010-02-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

i love 10 cent rides and cuddling and laughing with you. &the silence, because i know we are safe under the blanket. just me and you.

we belong alone.

2010-02-21T22:30:00.005+08:00

you electrify me.

yknow, talking about the past sometimes makes me look back and feel how unfair it was for me sometimes, but like everyone says, you learn from your mistakes, so i really hope that i am a better person right now, and i never wanna get hurt again. at least not anytime soon, i don't think my heart can take another heartbreak.

anyways, i havent been studying, can someone shoot me?

self awareness was really freaking fun with everyone. (: taught me vaules and about people i never knew. games, movie night, room hopping and the photo language was really good. (: anyways, camp photos. heehee. wish the camp was longer actually. ): love 4/8. (:

what i am doing nowwww.

anna is a retard.

came across thissssss.

2010-02-17T01:25:00.000+08:00

can you/will you/would you hold me like this?
i like it. :D

right now, theres you and me.

2010-02-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

can we do this sometime soon, please?

i like you in my arms, you like to cuddle.

2010-02-17T01:12:00.000+08:00

perfect match.

your sex is on fire.

2010-02-15T16:48:00.002+08:00

To live in this world;

you must be able,
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it,

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

only you.

2010-02-13T11:27:00.001+08:00

Mike: Scarlet, before you go through this, I want to remind you of September 7th, 1988. It was the first time that I saw you. You were reading Less Than Zero, and you were wearing a Guns ‘n’ Roses t-shirt. I’d never seen anything so perfect. I remember thinking that I had to have you or I’d die… then you whispered that you loved me at the homecoming dance, and I felt so peaceful and safe because I knew that no matter what happened, from that day on, nothing can ever be that bad… because I had you. And then I grew up and I lost my way. And I blamed you for my failures. And I know that you think you have to do this today but I don’t want you to. But I guess… if I love you, I should let you move on.